hearing a distant door firmly closing

My disenchantment with Kripalu had been growing steadily over the past years. There was a time I looked forward to becoming a seva* volunteer there. It was close to being the first thing I would do upon my retirement.

Amber cat and I had discussed it, with me assuring her that I would not leave her for three months. I promised to be there for her as long as she needed me, and that’s what I did.

Then, Indigo cat came into my life and needed me, and so now do Edelweiss and Magic. I then chose to extend my career for several more years to come. How did I find myself not free to drop everything and go offer my service to the place where I had found such peace?

Because the place as I knew it is just a memory. Even in Amber cat’s lifetime, it was slipping quickly away. The current Kripalu is a shadow of it’s former self. It’s a resort now, not a place of simple practice and contemplation. The spiritual dimension is missing. It’s not really a place for an old mystic like me to feel at home, though I still spend some time there each year. It has become a temple of fitness with very little of the spiritual practice of yoga. There are still some good people there, on staff and among the guests, but for how much longer when there is little to reflect their interests?

And now, the seva volunteer program has been terminated.  The door has closed very quietly, in the distance. For, no one waits to serve an ideal that is gone.


*the Sanskrit word for service.

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